A letter to my husband

How can you say these hurtful things to me? And still say you love me??

 

“I just want you to say everything is good”

(Asking me to lie when I’m feeling horrible just to make you feel better is a pretty hard and selfish thing to ask I feel)

“I don’t have time to worry about all my problems and yours too.”

(Un excuse me, this is what marriage is all about! What exactly are your reasons for being married if it’s not to have a soul mate, someone who cares and would do anything for you)

“Oh but it’s ok for you to treat me like that because you have a mental illness.”

(Ouch! Talk about throwing it in my face that you don’t really see this as a real disability. You really have no idea what it’s like to be me or to struggle with this every day)

 

Did you forget how bad you felt when we weren’t going to be together anymore? Did you forget how good it felt when we were getting along so well and I was constantly hugging, kissing you??

 

Yes it’s a 2 way street as you say and on your side of the street, what have you done for me lately??

 

We both work, I do the laundry, I clean the house, I take care of the kids 95% of the time, if either of us cooks it’s me, I do the grocery shopping, the Christmas shopping.

 

You work and work ….and take care of the kids 5% of the time.

 

And all I asked was for you to hear me out and maybe give me a hug from time to time. You could have ended this before it started last week when I started feeling horrible about work. It was only work then, things at home were still great. I couldn’t wait till you got home at night so I could cuddle up to you and take the energy from your hugs to try to help me get through the next day.

 

Now I have nothing going well for me. Work sucks, home life sucks, I have nobody to comfort me, I’m alone all the time with the kids, I have no hobbies, no passions, nothing to look forward to. And oh yea, Christmas is 10 days away and I’ve barely started shopping.

 Geesh, it really is a mystery why I am depressed!