Poems I’ve written over the past year

Bad Poem #1 I used to think I’d be O.K. and then life got in the way Each day I try to get back up And drink again from my broken cup Super glue holds for a while Before long someone in the house is on trial Fighting hurts and leaves scars The kind that make you wish you’d been feathered and tarred It’s already obvious from the look on your face Your feeling regret and disgust at the waste

Feelings Do I mask my feelings or let them out? Do I yell and scream or sit quiet and pout? Can I help it if they seem irrational and in excess? A day without a blow up, is it a success? Lonely, angry and dissappointed Mostly in me. Damn you feelings! Let me be. What is it that will matter in the end? Will there be anyone who will call me friend? What will it take to show me the way? To self- love….That’ll be the day.

All Together On the outside: Buttoned up, dressed in black; Hair pinned up, takes no slack. A perfect house, picket fence; Tidy and organized, makes perfect sense. Designer this and name- brand that; Never in the sun without a hat. Kids are quiet, do as they’re told; Do well in school, etiquite class enrolled. On the inside: Guarded heart, nerves a mess; Fear of failure causes stress. In the home there’s quiet, to avoid tears; Silence and avoidance, more every year. Kids sad and withdrawn, not knowing why; Escape through videogames, hearing Mom cry.

Slipping Again I had gained my ground and dug in my heels. Busting out of my comfort zone while still remaining stable. Using smiles and laughs as my tools and feeling really good. It’s all just a frame of mind, don’t you know? For 2 days I’ve been happy; so you see it’s true. All these years I’ve been miserable for nothing! Positive thoughts, reaching out and communication… Just like everyone has said all along. What about now? What’s that feeling? Holy Crap! It was so easy yesterday! Hold on ; Wait…You can do this! Positive thoughts: I am stronger than this. Pulling harder, I feel the effects. My eyes are burning; throat is blocked Mind is spinning; Make it stop! Reach out! I don’t want to do this again. Please stop! I’m so tired and I know that if I rest, I’m in more danger. I’m moving slow but still moving. The weight becomes more and more; And it pulls me down so that I’m hunched over as I walk. A moment of clarity comes and I scream “Help!” Communication: “I need you.” “Please don’t wait until I’ve fallen or have only one foot on the floor. I need you when I’m happy, but I need you more when I’m sad. I am trying and I hate being like this. I feel like a burden. Walk with me and hold my hand, only then will you know when I begin to slip”