Friday fog

TGIF!! I started my period finally today, while sort of anyway. About time, 2 weeks late. So I feel so crampy and bloated and sluggish. I really wish I could have a big hug from my old husband…:( No not a prior marriage- the one he used to be before he made my depression “All about him!” I like that Cheetah, I got that from your comment!

I got to go to a NCBI conference today. It was a nice day. These conferences are about respecting diversity and ending bullying. There were lots of good activities and it was a great climate and a chance to see the students and have them see us in a different light. In a group of about 35 students, about 7 of them were my students. We all got those cool stretchy bracelets with the word tolerance on them. I plan to wear mine if I can remember. I have so much that I want to say about the conference and the feelings that I encountered today, but I think I may need to process some thoughts first.

Did I mention that Riss and her friends are going on a Limo ride tonight? Some kids’ parents are crazy but she was invited so I’m going to let her have the experience. Her friend’s Mom hired a limo as a gift for her 6th grader getting good grades the first marking period! OOOOOO KKKKKKKK I think it’s silly and a waste of money but who am I to say. I just think that what will these kids have to look forward to and how much bigger will this reward have to get over the years if they start with things like this? I mean I went in my first limo at the Jr. Prom! And I know many people that didn’t even go in a limo then.

Still shitty on the home front. Don’t know how to make it better. He is the only person that I just can’t get through to sometimes. It’s like I say black , he says white and we never get to grey and he never converts to seeing things my way. I’m sick of compromising my needs and I shouldn’t have to. I wish I knew exactly what to say to him to make him understand how awful the things he’s been saying make me feel. Like “I don’t have time to worry about all my problems and yours too.” and “I just want you to say that everything is good.”

Well I’m depressed but at least it’s Friday. Maybe I should turn the sad music off for tonight…

I hope it’s PMS

No this isn’t something I normally wish for but considering how grumpy I’ve been the past few days and how my shortness of temper and mood swings are increasing- I hope it’s PMS! At least I know that if it is, there is an end in sight! What makes it even more delightful is that Kev (my son) too has been in one of his worse moods ever. I’ve heard him yelling and whining since about 8 a.m. and it’s now 10 p.m., I’ve just sat down to relax and I can still here him yelling and bickering with his sister even though he’s supposed to be in bed. Grrrr!!! Riss just came downstairs and told me that Kev told her what he got her when we went Christmas shopping together tonight!!! That makes me soooo mad!!

And I have either water or some fluid in my ear and it’s bothering the heck out of me! Every time I swallow or move my head I can feel and hear it! I tried jumping up and down with my ear tilted like I do when I get water in my ear in a pool, but it didn’t work.

The Best Of Will Farrell is on t.v. so that will hopefully be some good laugh therapy. My husband is not working tomorrow but I’m not sure if we have plans. I’m thinking not really because he has a honey do list from me of very important stuff that he’s been putting off due to being “too busy” and also he’s promised Kev some quality time. Remember Kev’s “sick of girls”.

He and Mom are a great pair of grumps!

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Yesterday..all my troubles seemed so far away!

LOL I had no title so I was just going to talk about my day yesterday and then the song popped in my head!

Anyway back to my day yesterday. I can’t believe I didn’t have time to blog. And the thing is- last night I would’ve like to because I had some deep thoughts (again!) in my head. But at the same time, when I finally got the chance it was after 10:00 and I was tired and knew that if I started blogging I could be up all night!

I felt really lousy yesterday, PMS strikes I believe. I didn’t take a break between classes today to try to get myself organized and then I had a parent meeting at the end of the school day.  When we got home from school I quickly tidied up and did the dishes because me and dd (Riss) were getting our hair done at 4:30 and the hair dresser is a friend of mine and she comes to us. I got my hair highlighted and cut quite a bit. It really bounced the curl back and is so much lighter and not so frizzy. (the joys and pain of curly hair) Riss got her hair cut real cute with long bangs that swipe over to the side and long layers but cut a little shorter (as her hair had once again grown at least to the middle of her back).

Then Sis stopped over and we ordered dinner and tried to chat but little man (Kev) was in a real mood and “sick of hanging around girls”. Grrr! Daddy’s working a lot and Kev is frustrated. When hubby did get home, Sis and I went to Wallyworld. She had to get my Gram’s scripts and some new socks and I was out of hair gel to make my new do look good for school! LOL

By the time we got home it was 8:30 and I read to the kids and then enjoyed hubby’s company. Eventually though my tired ,old man fell asleep and I was left alone and awake with my own thoughts of inadequacy. I’ve been real down on myself about my worth as a teacher lately. I really want a job that I feel like I’m good at and I think that I’m the type of person that really needs to feel appreciated for what I do (I guess we all are in a way!) I think we all know that teachers are underappreciated. I think that the most similar job for being underappreciated happens to be my “other” full time job “Parent”

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