Gwenblogs’s Weblog

Entries tagged as ‘prayer’

Healing

January 7, 2008 · 1 Comment

Many of us use our blog as a healing tool and through this we find ourselves having many ups and downs. Yes, it seems we write more about the down times This is when we need the listening ear that blogging provides.

During the downs I think it’s easy to think that we are backtracking, getting worse, not healing. I try to remember that healing is not a linear process, but rather a cyclic one. But it’s difficult to do at times.

I wonder why and how I can be so happy and positive last week and then feel lousy by the weekend and just horrible today. I feel like two different people when this happens. The Good Gwen and The Bad Gwen. The Gwen people like and the Gwen people have trouble “tolerating”. I know I like the Gwen from last week a lot better too.

I told myself that the next time this happened I would remember that it was only a day, one day, and that most likely tomorrow would be completely different and better. I told myself and I listened and I mostly believe it but there is that one lingering negative thought in the back of my head that I won’t type nor say out loud.


glitter-graphics.com
http://www.trueimage.name
END OF ROPE

Oh, my God,
I truly am at the end
Of my very short rope,
But I know that this is good
Because now
I need to hang onto
Your infinite one!

I am finally willing
To surrender my way
To Your Way
Because mine
Doesn’t work.

- – -

I am listening

- – - – -

In the silence
I hear the Voice
Of the tender Mother
I hear Her gently telling me
To just love
And leave the rest in Her Care.

I did as told
And wasn’t surprised
When I saw the sun rise
Full of warmth
Bathing all in the golden Light
Of HER glory.

And I was healed.

AMEN

Categories: depression · life
Tagged: , ,

Did no good…

December 15, 2007 · 2 Comments

The letter nor our talks have done any good. I figured as much. I feel soooooooooooooooo HORRIBLE again!!! I don’t know what I can do or how long I can continue to go on like this. My head is pounding, I know my blood pressure is sky high. I’ve been crying loud, sobbing cries all day so far. In between, I’ve only brought my daughter back and forth to dance class and in about a half hour I have to bring her to the mall for a dance presentation they’re doing there. My parents just got back from Florida and are meeting us at the mall to see her dance. I hate to have them see me like this too because I hate to admit it, but my Mom is much like my husband in the sense that she only wants to be in my presence and support when things are good. She has no patience with me and my negative feelings.

What’s left for a girl to do…..

Pray, Pray and Pray some more….

I sooooo Need God today and please send me some angels to lift me up. I’m getting way too low again God. I’m sorry for all of the ways I’ve dissappointed you .

Categories: depression
Tagged: ,