Many of us use our blog as a healing tool and through this we find ourselves having many ups and downs. Yes, it seems we write more about the down times This is when we need the listening ear that blogging provides.
During the downs I think it’s easy to think that we are backtracking, getting worse, not healing. I try to remember that healing is not a linear process, but rather a cyclic one. But it’s difficult to do at times.
I wonder why and how I can be so happy and positive last week and then feel lousy by the weekend and just horrible today. I feel like two different people when this happens. The Good Gwen and The Bad Gwen. The Gwen people like and the Gwen people have trouble “tolerating”. I know I like the Gwen from last week a lot better too.
I told myself that the next time this happened I would remember that it was only a day, one day, and that most likely tomorrow would be completely different and better. I told myself and I listened and I mostly believe it but there is that one lingering negative thought in the back of my head that I won’t type nor say out loud.
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END OF ROPE
Oh, my God,
I truly am at the end
Of my very short rope,
But I know that this is good
Because now
I need to hang onto
Your infinite one!
I am finally willing
To surrender my way
To Your Way
Because mine
Doesn’t work.
- – -
I am listening
- – - – -
In the silence
I hear the Voice
Of the tender Mother
I hear Her gently telling me
To just love
And leave the rest in Her Care.
I did as told
And wasn’t surprised
When I saw the sun rise
Full of warmth
Bathing all in the golden Light
Of HER glory.
And I was healed.
AMEN
